The fear of pain and the desire for pleasure...

What the hell was I thinking?!?

So i managed a Ben Nigel event a week or two ago. The night went well and i chatted to lots of lovely people, served the VIPs and when my job was done i sat back, watched the boxing and drank larger with the lads. I had a very brief conversation with the owner of the club and honestly he was to die for, i swear, he looks like drake!

Anyway my mum went out to dinner the other night with some friends. This is relevant because the owner of the catering company that i was working for was there.He told my mother that this gorgeous guy was interested and had asked him if he could get hold of my number! i was Very happy!

Today i decided to cut out the middle man and add him on Facebook seeing as though it was the only way of making contact without having to go through my mum and her friends. 

So i thought and thought, and after a while i had convinced myself that making the first move in would be a brilliant idea…. Living in the digital age i thought sending a witty message containing my number would let him know that I’m interested and would simply place the ball in his court…. I don’t quite know what i was expecting to achieve from such a forward and out of character move but it definitely wasn’t him replying with “sorry I’m lost?? who are you?”

So i was waiting, cringing and hoping he will remember who the fuck i am after having no choice but to reply with an explanation of my creepy yet flattering message. Not exactly the romantic ideal… at this point i feel that i just look like a weird,desperate looser!

Despite him finally realising who he was talking to and gave me his number, the damage is done, and i still feel like a dick… Never mind, you win some and you lose some, you live and you learn, and all that jazz…. fingers crossed i haven’t scared him off. I’m such a fucking idiot. 

soulharbour asked: How come you dont post much? i just seen you liking pretty much all the porn i reblogged haha.

I know guilty as charged. I should do really… my like box is starting to look like some sort of wank bank haha.